yeah

https://youtu.be/LiIurG0gwrE

This eve...

Tonight i shall dream

a dream

A dream of every night

where i fear for dawn

because then

these sorry arms

find themselves empty

and still without you...



To miss a certain kiss
is akin
to missing the shine
of the sun
on a smiling face....

a plea

friends who never started as friends

can become friends again

then if they are lucky

maybe they can not be

just be lovers again

but

real lovers

mind
body
soul

something real
i wanted to offer

accept?

Still..

"Why did you sleep so late?

"Why did you sleep so long?

she asked.

"Oh, I dunno," he said

"I was just tired, I guess," he said.

He thought to himself
slowly turned his
head
to wipe a growing tear

and whispered so low
only the angels could hear

"I sleep because, that's where
i get to see her again. 
Get to hold her
again.
Sleep, is the place
i wish i could be and
Heaven seems so
Overly far away
Lost for a wretch
Like me
Yearning for one more kiss"

sigh..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a71swB_DqY

This isn't a poem, it's a thought..

I miss you..

I tried to pretend

it wasn't you

it was just

you know

"us"

but im wrong

It's YOU

I MISS

fuck me

I'm not supposed to text you

And I'm not supposed to still

love

you

But tonight

it hurts so much

I wouldnt wish this pain

On anyone else,

anyone else.

Fuck me.

It hearts to breathe

I just want to hear your voice
the way you giggle
they way you say
"that's so cool"
the way you would look
at
me
like i was worth

something

fuck

me

these fingers are now drenched with
tears
youll never dry

i
am
sorry...

I'd do anything, I'd do anything, for....

I'd even leave letters
in the rain
marked 
in poetry

for you
to hopefully
forgive
all
of my blame

love letters 
showing only in the rain..

wish

i still wish

i could rest my

tired head

and smell your smell

id live a thousand lives

for one more

deep breath

of true beauty...

nothing i can do now

as i walk

this dark night envelopes me

and i realize

there is nothing

i can do now

these dreams wont be taken away

and i cant escape this reality

of all your fingers

pointing at me

in anger

and heat

for all the things

these voices

keep calling me

your no more forever

your no more forever

they keep calling me

calling me

your forgotten

never to be remembered

love..

remembered

Hold my hand pretty girl?

Hey, so it's just me

I was your sweet William-O

I fear this is the

time of late

Too much

of what Momma

would think

What
What
What

would she think if she heard

my gruff love?

It could have been

a simple slip of the lip

a love of the kiss

just one more

we each deserve

one more test

But what would

Momma-o think?

of her sweet

Ariela-o

So what if I were to

return?

These words fall

on deaf ears

and these steps

fall down

silent ears

but up

Is where these feet

send me

and now this

is the last

of what I will

see

of what William-o

will see

of how he died

during a thought

and a dream

of all that

could have been

of all that was not

driven up to

by the captain

who fell in love

with the lady

i watched walk

a

way

i died with each step

with each breath

but I stand

now

ready

but without a hand

to

hold

mine...

A storm is coming darling....

I will still

and always

sing you love songs

written

in the letters

of your name...

New Beginnings

Well, I guess it must start sometime. I suppose it's not the medium that counts, its just getting it out. I'm so afraid I don't have what it takes anymore but this is the one way to get what I want. So, I guess here I go.... 


The story is the heart...

My...

My brain is broke

My heart...

I cannot tell you how my heart
feels

It has never felt this way before

Broken is not a word
destroyed is not a notion
decimated is not a feeling

alone...

and sorry..

sorry for a thousand nights and

forever now....

Yeah..

Your beauty was lost on

me

I was wrong for not

seeing all you were

and now

I am left without

because

I was not a good enough man

No matter how many

tables I turn now

My sorry

will never be enough.. 

Once more

It is not your lips
that I strive to
feel again
It is your heart
that I beg
To touch once
again
It is not your
love that I wish was
once mine again
It is your everything

that I can never
ever
have
once more...

blergh

im dying
without you

and yet you
still keep shoving
your non desire
for me

in my face

so i hope i
die tonight
i hope i
dont wake up

thanks.
for not

coming back.

Sigh

If
 We
  Could
   Talk
    Would
     You
       Even
        Say

Hello?

Happy 96th Birthday Buk...

The Retreat


this time has finished me.
I feel like the German troops
whipped by snow and the communists
walking bent
with newspapers stuffed into
worn boots.
my plight is just as terrible.
maybe more so.
victory was so close
victory was there.
as she stood before my mirror
younger and more beautiful than
any woman I had ever known
combing yards and yards of red hair
as I watched her.
and when she came to bed
she was more beautiful than ever
and the love was very very good.
eleven months.
now she's gone
gone as they go.
this time has finished me.
it's a long road back
and back to where?
the guy ahead of me
falls.
I step over him.
did she get him too?

A happy little home

I'm watching the letters stain my heart, each time it comes up. I'm wondering if there's been an explosion of you and them, all of them. If each time you leave you are pressing to another mans lips, if you're going to drink and if you tell them you want them.

You used to want me.

You used to want me.

Now i watch the smile fade from my face. Each time i let myself drift into what could have been.

And there's nobody here

to dry these fucking eyes.

And i keep saying "i wont forget you." Like i believe that you think the same

Like i believe, there is still a glimmer of hope.

How many games have i played? How many stories have i read?

Sometimes it works out, sometimes the guy gets the girl back. They live happily ever after. Like the transgressions have been rectified.

PRAY LORD JESUS~~!

i would, i would pray so fucking hard to that motherfucker

i would go to church, and stop creating spirits to do my bidding

and now i'm stuck in a bit of a position
because once everything is said and done
i'm not sure i'll be able to live

with

myself...

i thought i heard you come in the front door earlier

i actually said hello

it wasn't you

you won't come
 back to this
  destroyed
    but i'm rebuilding!
                                home............