damnation

Some nights the darkness envelops like a warm
comforting
blanket of love that feels like
the sun should never rise
it would only ruin my good time
with the dark

then other nights
those are the worst
the dark is only a scorned lover
mocking you when you awake
staring into her
seeing a face that
will never be there again

those are the moments
most feared
like the boogey man
under your bed
mine, she lives in my dreams
and comes for me
when i',m most vulnerable

damn you

and damn all others

for not taking your place.

Here we go again, finally.

Well, here we go again I suppose. I just bought a new laptop finally after not having one for months and completely unable to really get work done. So.... I guess now i have no excuse to get back to writing on THEE novel, or maybe starting a new one or some short stories. I actually have a bunch of ideas rolling around in my head so it seems like its time now. I'm also going to update this blog even though I dont know whos looking or nor do i care. Its kind of just for me anyway and if you find it interesting then good for you.

I havent been doing anything but working lately anyway, work work work work work. And for that, i havent seen people i call friends or even those that i dont, but after my last drunken foray into that world, i needed to just go away. Sometimes the ego gets the best of you, and other times, the alcohol does. Either way, i wasnt at my best and ive needed to hide. Better for me, better for most of you. Although, i wish i was back in the times where i didnt have to, and i had my muse, and she made everything alright, A-O-K. 

shes gone though, been gone for years, never coming back. 

get over it faggot.

So, we start a new chapter now. A new chapter of writing. A new chapter of blogging.

A new chapter of getting this word out so that I can do it for a living.

and say good-bye to all those ive been avoiding.

lets get it soon, my children.